We've all had it happen. You meet at the Standard for drinks with Man B and find that Man B is actually very charming and funny and attractive. What began as just a quick drink after work turns into 6 hours of talking and drinking and in a hot second the two of you are making out at the bar, oblivious to the surroundings or the fact that it's a Monday night. The next morning all of your doubts are gone about Man B and you're feeling yourself starting to slip to the "like" phase. You get ready for work, check your phone, and decide to send a sweet text: "I had a really nice time last night. I look forward to pizza in time square" (and you make some dumb joke about something you talked about last night so he knows you were listening... ) You cruise to work, do your thang... 5pm rolls around... and nothing. Not a single text back from him. You give him another day. Nothing. A week later, you still haven't heard from him and you sit at the bar with your girlfriends flabbergasted as you try to replay the series of events. Why. WHY would he not contact me again!?
Why you ask? Because most people are douchebags. It's easy to have no regard for someone you don't know. Because life happens and you get caught up in yourself and suddenly that girl or guy you met last week doesn't really take precedence over the party at Cain or your new iPhone that you can't seem to put down.. yet seldom return texts with. Everything is a version of something else and it seems that in a fast-paced dating world, everyone is also expendable. There is the illusion that everyone you go out with is replaceable. There's always something better... or at least something just as good.
Ummm... ever heard of the one that got away?
I find myself thinking about situations in which relationships grow in a natural way. At work. At school. At the gym. Anywhere you see the same people on a consistent basis. You get to know each other in a real way where you aren't putting each other under a microscope for an hour and making your decision based on their hair and their height and the fact that they aren't in the best mood that night. (Please don't mistake this opinion for going against gut feelings about someone. Those should be trusted. Instincts are typically right...read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell). But if you enjoy someone's company... if they make you laugh, if you are attracted to them... what else needs to be determined before you go on date 2? Not much.
I'm someone who is all about second chances. Because really... the worst thing that happens is you get a free meal. (everyone knows Date 2 should be to dinner)
And in the worst case scenario; damage control. If the bastard doesn't call you again... delete him from your phone so you can't drunkenly text him asking why he didn't ever text you back.
