The Crazy Texter

We are all guilty of it. Ever since I was FINALLY given the privileges of texting in college (I was a late bloomer) it was so easy to communicate with boys without risking too much. Have a drink, send a text. Have another drink, send 2 more texts. Suddenly you're 6 drinks in, he still hasn't responded, and you're incessantly sending slightly incoherent sentences to Chris, whom you have been seeing for about a month. If I send him enough texts, surely one of them will make him realize he wants to text me back! "Hi baby!" ... "What are you doing?".... "I'm ouryt with my gifrls tonuhght. Would love to see yout."... And then you get passive aggressive... "Ok.. guess you're too busy."...

And then you send the embarrassing text. And for some reason, instead of it looking drunk and messy, you are able to write a perfect sentence, with punctuation, which eliminates the possibility of saying you were blacked out... or don't remember... or whatever other excuse we cleverly come up with...

"Really? I just don't understand why you said you wanted to see me tonight if you didn't. All you had to say was that you were busy. Hope you're having fun with" and then you have used 160 characters... so you send it. And in a separate text all together, you send "her."

The next morning you wake up feeling like something close to the bird you saw lying smashed against the crosswalk. First you reach for water. Then aspirin. Then your phone. And that's when you see it. The crazy texts all neatly butted up to one another with not a single response from Chris.

Then you check your call log. Idiot. You called him 3 times in a row.

Side Note: This is where I always check to see how long each phone call was to know if I 1.) talked to him (unlikely after crazy text) 2.) left a message or 3.) hung up. I always pray for the 11 second phone call. When it's 1 minute or longer, that usually induces some sort of panic and massive embarrassment because I know a message was left.

One of my girlfriends writes down the guys number she is seeing on a piece of paper and removes it from her phone for the night. She knows that after a few rocktails, she will want to start texting so she is very proactive.

So why do we crazy text? What is it that makes us NEED a text back from him? Sometimes texts, or lack there of, ruin entire nights out. Katie is so obsessed with him not texting her back that your girls night out has become a therapy session about why John is an insensitive douche bag... and we say "you can tell he really likes you... he is probably sleeping... or drunk... or just out with the boys." But then again, he's probably not.

Why do we spend so much time obsessing about the men who don't want to give us the attention we give them? It's easy to tell Katie to stop looking at her phone and pay attention to the people around her. It's just not easy for Katie to actually do it.

My conclusion...girls can make decisions for their friends, just not themselves. So, to all of my single women out there: It's time to stop listening to your heart and start listening to your girlfriends!

It's all fair and well for a man to write a book about what women should do in situations. I'm sure though, as we all have experienced, men are idiots when it comes to love and relationships. So, from a woman's perspective (and all of the women in my life)... this is about Men, and what my girlfriends said.