The Disclaimer

In college I read a book called "Survival of the Prettiest." The book covers many different topics of "beauty" and what "beauty" is to men and women. It theorizes (or perhaps proves?... I literally read it almost four years ago...) that because of the evolution of man, our natural instincts in regards to the opposite sex mirror the instincts of... well basically cavemen. That even today in 2011, a man is looking for a fertile looking woman and a woman is looking for a provider or a hunter to make sure she is taken care of.

Without doing a great study on this, I think this is a pretty believable concept. Women LOVE men in suits. A suit symbolizes work, work symbolizes money, money does not symbolize anything other than the fact that this man can take you out, feed you and buy you things.

And for men... it's the younger woman. Need we drag ourselves through history?

So, next time you see an adorable girl with a not so attractive man, this idea will become pretty apparent. Women aren't always attracted to physical appearance. There is success, talent, ambition, the way he smiles at you... sometimes the way he annoys you? So, we're complicated. Men? Not so much.

Which leads me to the trick men have been pulling since I was 16 years old. The disclaimer.

If a man says "I'm not looking for anything serious. I just got out of a long relationship and I'm not ready to be in another one yet...but I don't want to hurt you." -- or substitute any other disclaimer you may have heard in your dating life... guess what? He means it.

So we say, "Ok. I understand." ...but we hate losing, don't we? So we say: "I really love hanging out with you though. We don't have to make it anything serious." Cue subtext: "I really love hanging out with you. I know eventually if we continue to see each other you will realize how much you want to be with me."

This is where it gets confusing. Because he will say the disclaimer and then kiss you. He will hold your hand in public. He will call you just to talk or take you to dinner. Everything will continue on the same as it did before he dropped the "nothing serious" bomb. In fact, you might say he is being even sweeter and cuter and you suddenly find yourself looking at engagement rings and picking out baby names. Then months down the line, you find yourself waist deep in love muffins... so you decide to have "the talk."

You say... "So... what are we doing? What is this?"
He looks at you, takes a deep breath, and says "Babe. I told you in the beginning... I don't want anything serious.."

Because... well... he did.

The stupid moronic reality of men is that they think if they sit you down and say something, then that's it. It has been said and you know how he feels so then he can proceed to behave however he wants. Because he told you -- he said it!

There is nothing subliminal about male behavior. Yes is yes. No is no. I don't want anything serious is I don't want anything serious.