Facebook is a beast. It does not allow for any privacy unless you put up restrictions. Even then, we can't prevent that guy or girl from writing on our walls. We can't prevent pictures from being put up and tagged of us from the night before. We all are victims of the collective paparazzi.
Yes, it is a bad situation when there is a photo of you that shouldn’t be posted. Example: You’re flirting with your ex when you are dating someone else. Your arms are around someone or he has his hand on your knee. You told your mom you were going to Michelles to study and then there are pictures of you at Matt Johnson’s house playing beer pong because his parents are out of town.
Much like living in New York, technology has made it hard for us to have space or privacy… mainly because we are so addicted to sharing everything with everyone.
Every detail down to our profile picture is giving someone information about us. We instantly know when someone is “in a relationship” or “engaged” or “broke up.” We know when they get accepted to college or lose their job or someone dies. We’ve eliminated every possibility of mystery by putting everything on facebook.
In short, we all kiss and tell. We no longer know how to keep secrets and everyone is Judas.
I have girlfriends who make fun of people who do online dating… but aren’t we all doing it? When we meet a new man, the second we know his first and last name the pre-screening begins. We google. Once we do a background check, we facebook. We look at their interests, what their friends say to them and what they say to their friends. We look at the girls in the pictures with them to see what sort of girls they hang out with and date. We look at how cute their male friends are (because we have to keep our options open…duh). We look at their “dating status.” Dating sites are virtually facebook sites that you are allowing everyone to see.
Isn’t it better to get to know someone in person instead of studying them as if you were going to do a book report? We should stop focusing on where people have been and start asking where they want to be going.
I’m going to break it down for you all. Stop trying to know too much. Why are we so obsessed with knowing everything? We think we want to know but most of the time we really don’t.
Below is an estimated look at the divorce rate in America:
| Under 20 years old | 27.6% | 11.7% |
| 20 to 24 years old | 36.6% | 38.8% |
| 25 to 29 years old | 16.4% | 22.3% |
| 30 to 34 years old | 8.5% | 11.6% |
| 35 to 39 years old | 5.1% | 6.5% |
My theory? Technology. Notice how the divorce rates decrease after 30 years old? Those relationships aren’t formed around our social networking, cellphone carrying, twittering paparazzi generation. We have the capability to know everything and that temptation often destroys our relationships.
I remember one time I guessed my boyfriends facebook password. Once I got it right, I instantly felt guilty and told him to change his password. His response: “I shouldn’t have to change it because you shouldn’t be tempted to snoop on me anyways.” True. But that isn’t human nature. Must we go back to Adam and Eve? We are curious people. So even though I didn’t DO anything, an argument still ensued. The problem is, and I’m not saying we should turn our heads to things we don’t want to see… but once we see something it doesn’t go away.
People are not perfect. You are not perfect. So yes, watch out for red flags… but stop digging them up. Get off facebook and start making real friends.
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