The Pumpkin Eater

There is one question that the pumpkin eater is always faced with: “Do I tell the truth?” … the reality is that the truth ALWAYS comes out. 

This decision is based on what type of pumpkin eater they are… 

The Thrill Seeker Pumpkin Cheater: You are in a long-term relationship. There is forbidden fruit that presents itself to you. Sometimes in the form of a co-worker, sometimes your lover’s best friend… sometimes it’s someone completely unassociated with anyone else in your life. Regardless, this forbidden fruit comes with the thrill of getting caught and the thrill of doing something wrong. Typically the forbidden fruit also is in a committed relationship making this a tragically messy time for all. So is the thrill seeker bored? Probably. Does it usually go any further than sex? Probably not. Does it end in a messy smashed pumpkin? Almost always. The thrill seeker will most likely not leave their significant other and will only fess up if caught red handed. The thrill seeker is probably the most hurtful because his reasons are selfish and based on his own pleasure at the sake of others.

***I think as a rule of thumb… if you ever get yourself into a situation where there is cheating, it’s best to consider anyone involved in the situation off limits for true love.  

If you cheat on your boyfriend.. why would he want to stay with you? And if you break up with him, why would the other guy want to be with a girl who just cheated on her boyfriend?  Or if you are the other woman/man and fall in love with a guy/girl who has a serious girlfriend – if he stays with her, he breaks your heart. If he leaves her, you’re left wondering when he’s going to cheat on you. Lose/Lose.

Anyways, back to pumpkin eaters.

The Cheater Cheater Clarity Seeker: Sometimes, when you open your eyes only to see you are half naked in your exboyfriend’s bed, it makes you realize how much you want to be with your current boyfriend. This cheating typically occurs on a drunken night and is done in a fit of passion, rage, nostalgia or sadness… and is usually deeply regretted. This is one of the few, though I do not condone cheating, that if you have true remorse, can go unspoken of. 

The Cheater Cheater Big Fat Cheater: This is the cheater that is unhappy in their relationship.. but because of comfort, habit or fear of being alone… they stay with the person they have been with. I will say this once: If you are unhappy and feel the need to cheat… break up. Break up! Why is this so hard? You deserve to be happy.. but why does it need to be at the expense of a person whom at one point was the love of your life? Usually the Cheater Cheater has the whole: “I don’t want to be with her but I don’t want anyone else to have her” complex.  

In the end, what good has come of a cheating relationship? As humans we are by nature guilty, so at what point is the truth selfish and at what point is it necessary? In my opinion, cheating on someone is also cheating yourself out of something real for the sake of something temporary. The second it happens you are putting yourself into a situation in which there is no silver lining or happy ending. You hurt him, he hurts you.. you hurt you… you hurt him and his girlfriend… you are blamed or you resent him or blame her… but really.. take a look in the mirror pumpkin face. 

You are what you eat…and there’s no attractive way to eat a pumpkin.